GCBC’s The Bad 8 features just two new nameplates for 2015. Six contestants remain from last year, as an insufficient number of new vehicles have been awful enough to replace them. As was the case last year, these are the vehicles that would be least welcomed in GCBC Towers’ driveway, probably rejected for the long-term even if welcomed briefly.
Let’s put it this way: Do you want to get us something for Christmas? Don’t get us any of these vehicles.
They’re listed here for a number of reasons, some for just one reason. Whatever the reason, it’s bad enough to cause your sales analyst of choice to reject the car so completely that I’d prefer to own anything else on the market; to reject the car so completely that you, too, should strongly consider avoiding it at all costs.
One key premise behind modern car reviewing suggests that, in 2015, there’s no such thing as a bad car. But that doesn’t mean you can’t do better. In the case of these eight cars, you can definitely do better. It’s not about reliability or durability or outright performance – it’s about desirability, and the point at which desirability lines up with perceived value. These eight vehicles have their pluses, but the minuses – however few or however many – far outweigh the positive side of the ledger.
Click any of the images to be taken to the model’s Sales Stats page. Don’t forget to check out GCBC’s The Good 12, the list of vehicles you should definitely park in GCBC Towers’ driveway on Christmas morning.
I’m already nodding off. Not that the RLX needs to be terribly exciting, but at this price point it needs to be a great car, regardless of its dullness. But there are no redeeming qualities. Alternative: Cadillac CTS
The X4 is an X3 with less space and less design acumen. But it costs more than the X3. Your mother taught you to avoid situations like this, which is why you don’t eat expensive salads for lunch. Alternative: BMW X3
Slow and somewhat ponderous for such a small package, the Encore does two things very well: be small, and be quiet. If only your children could do the same. If only the Encore did more. Alternative: Honda HR-V
We say this isn’t all about reliability. And it’s not. But in addition to being awkward, slow, and slow to shift, the 500L is also dreadfully unreliable. Alternative: Kia Soul
Not only is the Crosstour ghastly, it’s been ghastly for a long time. Honda keeps chugging along, more than five years in to the car’s tenure. People do want this type of car; just not this specific car. Alternative: Subaru Outback
Mercedes-Benz GLA45 AMG Edition 1
This is from the company which sells such class as the S600. Imagine that S-Class buyer seeing this tasteless hatchback parked alongside in a Benz showroom. “Oh, but it’s fast,” isn’t enough. Alternative: Porsche Macan S
This car was behind the times when it arrived in September 2013. Time has passed. The world has turned. The Mirage is still inexpensive, but it feels cheaper than ever. Alternative: Nissan Micra
Nissan Versa Sedan
How to design a cheap car by the numbers. A new car needs one powertrain, four wheels, a few seats, one steering wheel, four brakes. Humans want more, however. “More” is not in the Versa sedan’s vocabulary. Alternative: Honda Fit