The Bad 8 v4.0 Part 2 – BMW 5-Series GT

BMW 5-SERIES GRAN TURISMO

Did we ask for this? Were letters secretly sent to BMW by citizens unwilling to publicize their desires? Are there people who have a fetish for awkwardly-shaped, overweight BMWs? GoodCarBadCar.net tries not to disparage vehicles which put up low sales figures because, after all, some enthusiast-oriented cars also sell poorly. Still, it must be noted, not a single BMW 5-Series Gran Turismo has ever been spotted in the wild by The Good Car Guy. 

Yes, the 2011 BMW 5-Series GT is really ugly, the kind of ugly you’d expect to see when attempts are made by really good car designers to make fun of bad car designers by doodling on an airport bar-supplied napkin. An exhaustive list of this BMW’s style problems could fill large books, but to mention a few is the duty of GoodCarBadCar.net, at least when punishing an automaker with Bad 8 placement. 

So here goes. The 5-Series GT’s nose is too blunt. Its headlights sit too high. Its ride height is the automotive equivalent of Cozmo Kramer’s pants. The character line running under the doorhandles should disguise height but manages to embellish the Gran Turismo’s slab-sidedness. The intersection of C-pillar, rear wheelarch, and taillamps is, when viewed from the rear or rear three-quarter, the sort of thing nightmares are made of.

Besides, even without the style problems, the 5-Series Gran Turismo’s name makes it sound like this should look as good as the Aston Martin Rapide. Instead, it’s an ugly duckling with a huge pricetag, some $6400 USD above the equivalent 5-Series sedan.

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Alternatives: Cadillac CTS Sport Wagon, Porsche Cayenne, wear your Bluetooth headset while getting groceries.

Base USD/CAD Price: $56,000 / $69,900

Improvements Required: There’s nothing BMW needs to do to make the 5-Series GT better. Simply banish the vehicle from memory and replace the 5-Series Gran Turismo with the 5-Series Touring.

Historical Significance: The 5-Series Gran Turismo is built by the same company which brought us the gorgeous BMW Z8 and classy BMW 2002tii and currently brings us the divine little BMW Z4. Oh, how the mighty fall every now and then.