Nasty, I tell you. If good-looks are a priority, take a gander at the BMW 3-Series Touring. If outright space is of concern, the similarly-sized 5-Series Touring wouldn’t offend thine eyes. And don’t try convincing me that driving dynamics are important: spend your money on an M5 or even a 328i wagon. The 5-Series GT, likely available in North America with a 4.4L 400+bhp V8 first, is ugly. But The Good Car Guy said the same about the BMW X6 and BMW decided to build it anyway. Some people even buy it. Ugh.
When BMW decides to provide 5-Series Gran Turismo customers with a six-cylinder, expect it to be the 535i GT. That’ll be the 3.0L twin-turbo inline-six with more than 300 horsepower. At least a car this ugly can have the world’s best six-cylinder. Expect 8-speed automatics all around.
What could be worse than an ugly version of some already not-pretty cars? Well, to gain ugliness, BMW wants you to pay more. This is the same theory that BMW applies to the X5/X6. The X5 is spacious and fun and looks alright. The X6 isn’t, but costs more. The regular 5-Series and 5-Series wagons aren’t good-looking, but they’re not terrible. The 5-Series Gran Turismo is ugly, but will likely demand a $10,000 premium. As if the presence of the X3 and X6 in The Bad 8 Supersize wasn’t enough for BMW, the Germans are pushing hard to find a car in the third version of the regular Bad 8.