50TH B-DAY FOR IMPALA A JOKE

Are you more inclined to take Chevrolet and General Motors as a whole more seriously since the Enclave, Malibu, and Corvette Z06 debuted? Of course y’are.

Alongside such truth, let it also be true inside your rational brain that Chevrolet is about to introduce to you the 50th Anniversary Impala. “50 years of Impala” – let it ring.

We’re talking about a badge job + some equipment. Two-tone leather, unique-to-the-5oth 18″ alloys, rear spoiler, better floormats, and other similarly pointless upgrades. Oooooooeeeeeeeee. Pretty hot.

The Impala, as we know, will be put out to pasture before long. Proper combinations of rear-wheel drive and V8’s are on the way. But for now, we get offered nicer leather for the 50th anniversary of such an iconic model.

It hurts me to think of the salesperson who is forced into selling a Malibu alongside such a typical late 90’s-style GM special edition. Let’s hope that all past import buyers are steered clear of the embarrassment.