It’s 2017. Cars are faster than ever. More efficient than ever. More capable, more reliable, more available. More… whatever other words end in able.
But some cars suck.
It’s not that sucky cars are, by definition, slow or inefficient or incapable or unreliable or unavailable. They may be none of those things.
But these eight new vehicles certainly aren’t desirable.
You can do better. You must do better. Please, consider the alternatives.
Flip the equation around and we’ll phrase it thus: do you want to get us something for Christmas? Please don’t get us any of these vehicles. They may be best sellers, they may be worst sellers. But they won’t sell to anybody that’ll park a vehicle in front of GCBC Towers.
They’re listed here for a number of reasons, some for just one reason. Whatever the reason, it’s bad enough to cause your sales analyst of choice to reject the car so completely that I’d prefer to own anything else on the market; to reject the car so completely that you, too, should strongly consider avoiding it at all costs.
These eight vehicles have their pluses, but the minuses – however few or however many – far outweigh the positive side of the ledger.
Click any of the images to be taken to the model’s Sales Stats page. Don’t forget to check out GCBC’s The Good 12, the list of vehicles you should definitely park in GCBC Towers’ driveway on Christmas morning.
This is the worst new vehicle you can buy. It’s not just undesirable. It really is awful by every measurable standpoint. The transmission is horrid. It’s chronically unreliable. It’s painful to look at. Anything is preferable. Alternative: Kia Soul
NISSAN VERSA SEDAN
Nissan seemingly built a car – cheap to buy, small on the outside, big on the inside – without putting a single moment’s worth of extra thought into it. They didn’t style it. They didn’t make it ride or handle or steer well. They just didn’t bother. Alternative: Toyota Yaris iA
We get it. You don’t want what everybody else wants. They want an E-Class or a 5-Series or an A6. You’re different. But “wanting to be different” and “dull” shouldn’t go together. They don’t go together. Alternative: Genesis G80
As technology advances, as time marches on, as the world turns… the Mitsubishi Mirage doesn’t. This car feels like something out of 1998, and not like something that would’ve been class-leading in 1998. Alternative: Chevrolet Spark
It’s not a proper SUV. It’s certainly no coupe. It’s not as good as the X3, and certainly not as good-looking. It’s just a silly car in a silly class of silly German crossover coupes. You make way too much money to spend it on silliness. Alternative: Mercedes-Benz GLC
AUDI A3 E-TRON
The Audi A3 e-Tron is perfectly pleasant to drive and a handsome car to behold. But Audi is charging a premium price for a small hatchback in an arena where way more technology (and space) is readily available for less money.
Alternative: Chevrolet Bolt
To be fair, it’s a struggle to make the case for any subcompact crossover. Spend a little bit more money and you can get a whole lot more utility. And in the Buick’s case, it’s overstyled, overpriced, underpowered, and uncomfortable. Alternative: New Chevrolet Equinox
NISSAN TITAN XD
If you want a heavy-duty pickup, get a heavy-duty pickup. Nissan, already a niche pickup truck builder, is attempting to create their own, utterly unnecessary truck niche. The XD is a ghastly attempt to do so. Alternative: Ford F-250