THE BAD 8 v2.0 – Part V

LINCOLN TOWN CAR
Your mission: with hidden camera securely fastened in order for the sales representative’s fact to be clearly visible, head to your local Lincoln dealership and exclaim your lifelong enthusiasm for the Town Car. Describe how badly you want a test drive and how easily it will be for you to afford the monthly payments.
This is only your mission if you’re under the age of 27, by the way. Proceed by posting the video with the salesman’s shocked and disturbed facial expressions on YouTube and then leave the link in the comment section of this post. Consider yourself dared.
No other car on the market today is so closely linked with buyers over the age of 70. Only when speaking about the Town Car (and its siblings from Ford and Mercury) will you hear the figures “239” and “V8” mentioned in the same sentence. Not that we can hold that too firmly against the Lincoln Town Car. After all, Cadillac’s V8 displaces the same 4.6 litres and finds itself in The Bad 8 v2.0 because of the STS’s excellent available V6.
Nevertheless, one can’t deny the Town Car’s ability to tow 2,000 pounds, carry 900 pounds of payload or 21.1 cubic feet, and see close to 25mpg on the highway. What is undeniably just as true and far more important is the age of the Town Car’s design, the availability of better vehicles in Lincoln’s own showroom, and the likelihood that the vast majority of potential Lincoln Town Car buyers won’t be around to see more than one additional Town Car facelift or new V8.
—–
Alternatives: Lincoln MKS, Chrysler 300C, Ford Flex, Hyundai Genesis
Necessary Incentivizing To Switch To The Good 12 v2.0: Buy 1 Lincoln Town Car, receive 1 Boca Raton condo free.
Anything Else? Lincoln’s MKS isn’t the best large luxury car available in North America, but it’ll cost you thousands less and offer way more joy than the Town Car ever could.