Before I mock anybody whose weight has ballooned rapidly, I am reminded that thyroid issues – sometimes genetic trademarks – can do nasty things to a body. One mustn’t always blame so-and-so’s comfort food.
Alas, the Mercedes-Benz R-Class has no thyroid and thus, no thryroid issues. It’s just plain fat. Prepare yourself for the scales: R-Class curb weights start at 4,940 pounds and rise to at least 5,092. Forgiveness may be found for excess German girth – the GL-Class certainly deserves it – but this undefinable crossover/van/wagon should be much closer to 4K than 5K.
R-Class fuel economy can be as poor as 15mpg in the city, says the EPA. Ride and handling are far from anything worth writing home about. Despite what may at first glance appear to be van proportions, a lack of sliding doors permits no van practicality.
Besides, the R-Class is ugly. Awfully, terribly, woefully ugly.