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Fuel economy wonks and Car & Driver subscribers know better than to go searching for the EPA ratings of very heavy vehicles. One such unsearchable vehicle would be the 2010 Dodge Ram 2500 Laramie Mega Cab 4×4. Now Dodge…. or Ram, whichever happens to be the title of the day over at Fiat-run Chrysler, goes out of its way to share provisional estimated Environmental Protection Agency mpg figures with the public even though the Ram 2500’s GVWR (gross vehicle weight rating, the maximum allowable weight of the vehicle when loaded) is above 8,500 pounds. See, the EPA’s mandate doesn’t include testing (or forcing manufacturers to test) heavy-duty vehicles.

How does the EPA draw the line between light-duty and heavy-duty? Since 1990, vehicles not required for testing are those with GVWRs above 8,500 pounds. The 2010 Dodge Ram 2500 Laramie Mega Cab 4×4 has a minimum GVWR of 8,800 pounds.

That being said, Dodge – or is it Ram? – says the Ram pickup, with the 2500 chassis in Laramie trim and Mega Cab 4×4 configuration, should get between 13 and 18 miles per gallon. In the May issue of Car & Driver, the 2010 Dodge Ram achieved 14 miles per gallon. And though the 2010 Dodge Ram 2500 Mega Cab 4×4 has a base curb weight of 6,683 pounds, in Laramie trim with a handful of options the Ram Mega Cab 4×4 weighs 7,560 pounds. Hole. Eeee. Jump. Ins.

Ford and General Motors aren’t about to share fuel economy estimates on the heavy-duty versions of the Ford F-Series, Chevrolet Silverado, and GMC Sierra, at least not on their websites. Not that Dodge is owed any applause for equipping a gigantic truck with an enormous inline-six diesel and finding out that said vehicle will travel 14 miles on a gallon of gasoline in “mostly urban driving”.

In truth, any paragraph in this article consumed by talk of fuel economy is off subject anyhow. No, you ought to take another hard look at the potentially planet-shattering curb weight of a 2010 Dodge Ram. Hitting the scales at 4,519 pounds, the 2010 Dodge Ram 1500 is a comparitively gentle beast. That’s a basic regular cab with a shortish box and no options. I mean, a Maserati GranTurismo Convertible weighs 4,600 pounds

But 7,560 pounds? 3,429 kilograms? 540 stone? 3.78 short tons? 3.43 metric tons? What other object could possible weigh as much as the 2010 Dodge Ram 2500 Laramie Mega Cab 4×4 ? Find out in the Numbers after the jump.

14,592 bags of Lays regular potato chips

2 Chrysler Sebring Convertibles with a couple spare doors on the side

25,200 Apple iPhones

3.85 Scion iQs

2160 pet Chihuahuas

56 Klippan sofas from IKEA

1/7th of a Caterpillar 3612 engine

6,109 Nikon D5000s

46 Honda Metropolitan scooters

2.5 Ford Ranger Regular Cabs

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