TOP 5 VEHICLES FOR HALLOWE'EN CHAUFFEURS

Automobiles, for some people, are a routine part of the Hallowe'en experience. Perhaps the temperatures are so low that Hallowe'en is forced into the local shopping mall - and you need to drive the children there. Or maybe your home is miles away from any substantial number of neighbours and walking the rural roads in costume hasn't been deemed "fun" since the 1890s. It's conceivable that your kids are still fat from last Hallowe'en and are thus too lazy to make the trek from neighbour to neighbour.

Who's kidding who? You're not heading out on October 30th to look for the perfect Hallowe'en vehicle. But if you were, what sort of qualities would a Hallowe'en chauffeur be looking for? Some sort of disguise would be nice. Striking fear into the hearts of every kid on the street would be fantastic, if possible. Anything ghostly - or better yet, anything capable of raising the hair on one's neck would be sublime. Here's what The Good Car Guy has come up with for Hallowe'en 2009. Trick or treat.

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#5- FORD TAURUS SHO: Huh, a large Ford sedan? Think about it and you'll catch the drift. Taurus SHOs were long believed to be extinct. If the neigbours peek through their curtains and see a brand spankin' Taurus SHO with the sounds and accelerative force of 365-bhp, surely they'll believe the ghosts of Hallowe'en past have come to visit? Surely.

#4- MERCEDES-BENZ CLS: Generally speaking, children prefer to dress up as something a little loopy, a tad gross, or a touch out of step with reality. The CLS-Class is the equivalent of the child who simply wants to be seen as beautiful. Underneath the facade is a previous-generation E-Class, a conservative but luxurious sedan. The exterior paints a different picture; one of dynamism and elegance (and four-door coupeness that remains unexplained). A Benz CLS is the Sears catalogue model who splurges and dresses up in haute couture.

#3- CADILLAC ESCALADE HYBRID: While over 17,000 customers have driven away in Escalades so far this year, a scant few have chosen the hybrid drivetrain. Yet you can escort a handful of trick-or-treaters around the neighbourhood, sometimes in near-silence, convincing the masses that you're a rich environmentalist. In reality, your 21mpg city rating is only as good as their Mazda 5, but your disguise will probably work anyway.

#2- BMW X6 M: Want to scare small children right back into their mother's womb? Give them one look at the awful design of the X6. Want to scare large children straight back into their father's arms? Add the BMW M body addenda. Care to frighten the whole family, especially Fido and Fluffy? Ignite the twin-turbo, 555-horse V8. They'll think the aliens have landed and inspect the moon for fullness.

#1- PORSCHE 911 GT2: On Hallowe'en night I can't think of any better way to give yourself and one lucky candy patron a fright then by taking the full 360-degree cul-de-sac at the top of your street at 45mph in a 911 GT2. With the heavy rear end challenging the light front end for dominance, you'll be approaching decorated front yards with fearful precision. That's about when the locals realize your endangering the lives of their children and throw pumpkins at your Porsche. So opt for orange when the salesman asks you to tick the colour box.